Life is such a sweet insanity.

It's been a slow night for internet porn. Just when I get feeling all healthy again (after riding my bike back and forth to work, plus enjoying some swimming afterwards) and looking particularly "buff", no one wants to play on the webcams with me.

I'm kidding, people, settle down. We have a house rule. Internet porn after midnight and only after midnight.

No, actually I've been doing what I do best. Amusing myself.

I didn't say "pleasuring myself", I've been "amusing myself". We're out of the gutter mode now, o.k.?

I've been amusing myself by reading old blog entries. Not any of my blogging-friends' blog entries. No, no, I'm way too vain for that. I've been reading _my_ blog entries. I figure someone's got to read them sometime, so I go ahead and look at my little witty stories from time to time. Sort of like a "greatest hits review" if you will.

My initial impression is "My God - I'm a complete and utter mess of wild emotion." Readers must think that I'm an absolute freak. Between pleading (like a five year old) with my lover for an iMac, exploding on innocent co-workers and falling into emotional heaps because of snow, I'm surprised no one has thrown me into the local institution and hidden the key until the daily Arts and Crafts hour.

My second realization, and the stronger of the two, is that I am a really lucky guy. Earl puts up with my crap. I put up with his. We're in love. We're two very lucky men (yes, Bush Lite, two men, in love, that wear wedding rings and believe in God. Figure that one out) to have found each other. Many don't have the opportunity to experience true love. I'm fortunate enough to be able to savor the feeling.

I enjoy reading bits and bytes of my witty dialog to Earl as he surfs the web on his shiny iMac. He doesn't appreciate that at all. "You told me about it before." "I was there, remember?" "You really crack yourself up, don't you". I don't think he appreciates the male-Rosie O'Donnell in me.

I think Wil Wheaton has the right idea. Find some of your greatest blog entries and put them into a book and publish it. Erma Bombeck essentially did the same thing, she took her best newspaper columns and tied them into a neat little package and called them "The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank". Hell, it was even made into a movie. Maybe my life should be made into a movie. I've been told that I resemble the younger guy on The Myth Busters. Which is a problem, because I find the older guy to be hotter. I wonder if they're a couple. Probably not, they probably don't date co-workers.

But I digress.

I see no reason why a movie of my life wouldn't be wildly successful, like that movie on the independent circuit, "Super Size Me". Lord knows I've crowed about the virtues of Sonic and Chick-Fil-A enough to get a fast food endorsement. Maybe that weird chick from Jerry Springer could duct tape on a few slabs of meat and moan a bit. That certainly would get attention as a sponsor.

We all know what's going to happen. I'm going to just stay true to my inner geek and keep on blogging. Why bother to get it published when I live my life as an open book.

Working in the radio business does occasionally have its perks. Like tonight. Our radio station staff was invited to a 'sneak preview' of the newest movie theatre/cineplex grand opening. This is an exciting time in our town!

If you've followed my blog regularly, you'll note that Earl and I often go out of town to go to the movies. There's a couple of reason for that.

First of all, the two movie main movie theatres here in Utica were owned by Hoyts and were built in the 1980s. They haven't really been renovated since, save for the theatre at Riverside Center which was surgically removed from the mall when Riverside Mall was ripped down in 1995. They still have their "Cinema High Fidelity" sound systems, small seats, crappy cup holders and sticky floors. Plus, there's not a stadium seat in sight. And they are way overpriced. When Hoyts sold out to Regal a year or so ago, our theatres didn't go with the sale, they were orphaned off to a company called "Northeast Cinemas". They still carry their Hoyts logo and they still suck.

The movie theatre in Rome is actually eight movie theatres shoved into an old Great American grocery store. We often end up sitting in the old produce section to see the main feature. It's a little disconcerting to sit in a movie theatre that provides seating for 50 and smells like wilted lettuce.

The Town of New Hartford (the largest suburb of Utica, if you will) has seen some tremendous retail growth over the past couple of years. In addition to the Pyramid owned "Sangertown Square" mall, we now have "Consumer Square" and "The Orchard". Consumer Square is a big box store type of place and houses one of our three Super Wal*Marts, a Barnes and Noble, TJ Maxx, Best Buy and a bunch of other stuff.

The Orchard is just opening up this month and right now houses an Outback Steakhouse and Marquee Cinemas. By the end of the summer we'll have a Ninety-Nine BBQ Pub Place, Pizzeria Uno, Cold Stone Creamery, Gander Mountain and I believe a Kohls.

Thank goodness for Marquee Cinemas! It's their first theatre in New York State and it wins a big two thumbs up. Last night they had an invitation only family night, which our radio station was at and provided free popcorn and soda to everyone, as well as a free viewing of one of fourteen movies (which were about a month or so old). Tonight, it was media night. Again, invitation only, this was a catered affair (complete with fondue!), but also included free popcorn and soda, and again a free movie viewing.

The theatres have state of the art sound, stadium seating with high back rocking chairs that can be made into love seats and cup holders that will actually hold a large sized cup. Plus, the prices are LOWER than the other theatres.

Earl and I chose to see "Starsky and Hutch". We'd seen most of the other offerings and thought that Starsky and Hutch would be a good movie for a freebie. I have to admit that I actually enjoyed the movie quite a bit, and I thoroughly enjoyed the theatre experience.

We're so excited - we no longer have to travel 50 miles or more for a decent movie theatre! I'm beginning to run out of reasons to despise this area. :) I'm glad to see this area moving into the 21st Century. Maybe there's hope after all.

I am proud to say that after years and years of trying, Earl has jumped into Geekdom with me and started his own blog. It's called "Cooking with Earl" and features pictures and recipes of his favorite dishes. He's already posted two entries and is planning his third.

I had suggested the title "Adventures in Gastronomy" (I admit, I stole that from someone else - whom I don't quite remember), but he didn't see the humor in it whatsoever.

So it's Cooking with Earl. Take a peek and drop him a line if you want. I'm sure he'd love the encouragement.

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Speaking of encouragement, I've had the comments option available on my blog for quite a while and only my friend Thom cares to drop me a comment or two. If I was an egomaniac, I'd be miffed. :)

Plus, if you want to chat, you can reach me through AOL Instant Messenger and/or ICQ. My ICQ # is 125628700. I don't know how that works with AIM or Netscape, but I'm told that it does.

Earl and I went to Bucks County, Pa. this weekend for his annual family reunion. It's always fun to get together with his family. They're a jovial bunch and they make me feel very welcome, even though I sometimes feel like the Uncle in the Aunt slot.

I often refer to his family reunion as the Alphabet Assault. Since his relatives see me once a year at the most, I often get P.J., D.R., Z.Z., L.M. or Steve (I guess all gay men are named Steve). It's better than "Asshat", I suppose. At least Earl's siblings have the "J.P." part down, which is good. All in all, the food was great, the stories were entertaining and a good time was had by all.

We played miniature golf with Rick (Earl's step brother) and Helen (Rick's girlfriend). I've played miniature golf only a handful of times, so onlookers may find me amusing. At least I resisted the urge to swing the club around like I was in the band colorguard. Afterwards we went to a local diner where the waitress apparently paid absolutely no attention to what we ordered since all of our food was mixed up. But we ate it anyways, lest a surly cook in the back spit on our food. As frequent restaurant guests, we learned long ago to shut up and eat what is served, even if it's hamburger patty served fresh out of the ice box, lest we have the cook get surly and do something suspicious to our food. On the other hand, I could just be paranoid.

Since the weather was cooperative, we put the top on the Jeep down and drove all the way home in glorious sunshine and somewhat seasonable temperatures. Thank goodness for the sunscreen! It was great to let the wind whip through my hair mustache.

I've been thinking about inhibitions lately. I think my inhibitions have prevented me from pursuing my dreams. I haven't figured out what those dreams are yet, but I'm sure there's dreams up there somewhere that have yet to be realized.

Growing up, and admittedly, probably to this day, I care what people think about me. Am I too fat. Do I look like a geek. Do I stick out like a neon light. I think this worry about what people think about me is inhibiting me from being my true self. I've always got my guard up. "What are they thinking." "Why are they looking." It's ironic, because back in my 20s, I had a couple of dates tell me that I was the most uninhibited person they ever met, but we'll save those stories for a seedy Saturday night.

I suppose my inhibitions stem from my homosexuality. "They're going to know I'm gay." Well, duh. I am gay. Since I've known for the past 29 years or so, you'd think I'd be over that by now. Maybe I need to work on that.

My dear friend Laurie has been in a number of beauty pageants scholarship programs in the Miss America Program. She is the most uninhibited person I know. Laurie can go up on stage and do her thing without thinking twice. Whether it's putting 200% of emotion into performing the National Anthem in sign language, or testing out a new vocal performance on co-workers (knowing that it would probably tank), Laurie throws all caution to the side and put her all into whatever she's doing - carefree and uninhibited. I greatly admire that in her. Besides, she's quirky like I am and that's always a plus. (Laurie is the Executive Director of Miss Mohawk Valley - go see her web site).

In fact, inhibition prevented me from supporting Laurie's participation in the beauty pageants scholarship programs leading up to Miss America. I was worried what others at work would think of my support. I strived to go along with the crowd rather than being myself.

I should follow Laurie's lead and be more uninhibited. I should throw caution to the wind and just do my own thing. Support the causes I believe in. Sing karaoke. Do stand up at the open mic night at the local comedy club. Dance in the middle of the mall.

There's a wonderful world out there. I shouldn't shy away because of a wall of inhibition.

I've decided that I need to have a computer with me at all times, specifically for the purpose of writing in my blog. As I was getting through the workday drudgery today, my mind was wandering off to faraway lands... to the beautiful midwest where the land is flat, the folks are friendly and the meat is a mouthful. I wondered why Jerry Springer is still on the air. I smirked at the humor of Margaret Cho as I recounted something witty she had written in her blog.

I don't know if this is the case with everyone, but I often have approximately 1,298,381,301 thoughts going through my mind at any given nanosecond, and that's not including the standards like "breathe" and "beat your heart". I've come to realize that I rarely pay attention to reality. I'm great at the "uh-huh, mm-hmm, yep, yep, nope" reflex response during a staff meeting. I wonder what people would think if I, at the very instant I'm standing in front of them, whooshed my hands in the air like Endora and popped out, complete with a fourth-season Bewitched cool sound effect. I think about popping to Nogales, Arizona for a taco. I notice that my co-worker is always impeccibly dressed and clean shaven, everyday, without fail. I notice that another co-worker is wearing the same clothes for the third day in a row. At the same time, I'm deciding on a "personal logo" (the owl in the 'address bar' fits the bill at the moment), wondering if I should stick with 'thenetwarriorxp' or go with 'tuxcub' as my online alias, and thinking about Earl and what we'll do tonight.

I have so many thoughts zinging in and out of my ears and I'd really like to write some of them down and share them in my blog. I like writing in my blog. I find it relaxing and therapeutic. I have so many stories to tell, but each little inkling of a verse comes floating in, is pondered upon with all the other noise in my brain at that moment, and then goes floating off into ether, never to return. I've had moments that I've said "what a wonderful tale to spin in my blog tonight." Unfortunately, I can't remember a damn one of them.

Microsoft announced today that they're developing a type of body-network that will send computer data, and presumably electronic impulses of some sort, through your body, allowing your earrings to chat with your wedding band, electronically. Why? Who the hell knows. The world is a f*cked up place right now and all we can do is come up with technology to allow our penis to communicate with our belt buckle so it knows when to disengage so we can pee.

Great. More noise in my already cluttered mind.

Like I promised myself over the weekend, I rode my bike to work this morning. I must admit that I was proud of myself for going through with my promise to myself, because I often make resolutions, promises and threats and never follow through on them. "I'm going to lose 10 pounds before vacation." "I'm going to make sure the washer and dryer are empty before going to bed." "If I eat this cream cheese covered strawberry I will turn into a toad." Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

But when I awoke this morning, feeling completely refreshed after 10.5 hours of sleep, I was delighted to find the birds singing and the sun shining. So I got my gear together, ate an English muffin covered in organic peanut butter (which is quite bland, by the way) and then headed off to work.

I had forgotten what riding in rush hour traffic is like. First of all, road construction activity is at an all time high here in Central New York, so half the ride is on a rush board. But the vibration is perfect for soothing my aching bum, I suppose. Then there's the Utica rules of the road - when the light turns green, wait for five seconds or five cars, which ever comes through the light first. And avoid all SUVs at all costs - they don't know what they're doing.

But the ride in kept my energized throughout the day - giving me a lively step in my gait and a song in my heart. It's a shame that I need to travel for work tomorrow. I look forward to doing the ride again on Wednesday.

It's nice to be on the road again.

With it being Father's Day and all, we had a family gathering here at the house today. The weather was a little cool, but absolutely gorgeous. I had initially pledged to Earl that I was going to prepare the feast, what with my desire to be a good cook and all. But naturally he took over and I ended up playing assistant. I guess I didn't really mind. He went all out - BBQ'd ribs and chicken, grilled pineapple, salt potatoes and Karen brought along some delicious macaroni salad. And for dessert, Earl made this delicious fruit dip (cream cheese and fluff) for strawberries and melon. I'm going to start a blog for him so he can share photos of his creations, along with recipes to share. In the computer world, I suppose Earl would be considered an open source cook.

It was great getting together with my sister Jennifer and my dad and his girlfriend. Just sitting down and chatting about old and new times is so relaxing. Karen brings me up to date on the renovation project going on at the school she works at, Dad chimes in with his commentary and occasional nostalgic anecdote and then we catch up on the going-ons with the rest of the family. One thing I realized is that it's going to be a busy summer with weddings and family visits and whatnot.

It's wonderful being in a family where everyone gets along. Or perhaps its that we're really good at pretending that we get along. Either way, it is nice to get together.

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Last night Earl and I ventured out arouind midnight and went to the local club - where I DJ'ed for a number of years. We hadn't been out around here in about 18 months. It was the first time that we'd been in a bar since the new NYS smoking law had been in effect. While it was much more comfortable being in a smoke-free environment, I couldn't help but notice that business was significantly slower than when I was DJ'ing there. Kicking my ego aside, I believe it was due to the smoking ban instead of the change in DJ.

Even though it was Saturday, I had to go into work for an hour or two today. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Anyways, yesterday I became determined that I would start riding my bike into work again. I've sort of been off track on my cycling this year, having only gone on a handful of rides. The spring weather has not been cooperative in the cycling department, however, the last couple of weeks have provided ample opportunity with temperatures in the mid to upper 70s. I've just been lazy.

Mr. Weatherman predicted that today would be more of the same, mostly sunny with a high around 80. Perfect! Mother Nature is cooperating with my plan for a change. When I woke up this morning, I found that it was mostly cloudy and there was a good bunch of wind coming out of the west. The clouds were building and one just knew that there would be rain within the next six hours.

Now normally I would have taken this opportunity to completely wimp out and come up with a million excuses. "I can't find my rain gear." "My chain will get rusty." "The bike will be a mess." "I'll melt in the rain." I think I've only ridden in the rain once. But this morning I decided that I just didn't care. I was going to ride my bike regardless of the weather, and if a tornado funnel came along, I'd welcome the extra 'lift'.

The ride to work went along beautifully. With that stiff wind at my back, I made it the office in record time. I did my thing at work, which took only a half of an hour or so, and then noticed that it had started sprinkling a bit. I futzed around a little more, hoping the little shower would pass, but after another 15 minutes or so, it just wasn't going to let up.

So I hit the road home.

Within two blocks, I was pretty wet. But I have to admit that I absolutely loved every inch of that ride home. I got muddy. I got wet. My chain squeaked. My gears meshed oddly. My legs squeaked. But I survived it. The bike survived it. It started raining steadily about a third of the way home, but let up just before I hit the driveway. I didn't care. I didn't melt. Doom and gloom didn't descend upon me. It was wonderful.

Bring on the tornado!

Growing up, I always wondered what it would be like to live a "life of splendor". To be like the "rich kids" and live in town, rather than out in the middle of farmland. I grew up in a lower to middle class family. My Dad was the bread winner, working hard at the family owned hardware store. Mom stayed home with us kids... she didn't work until I was a freshman in high school, and then it was only part time in our school district. We didn't have a lot, but we pretty much had everything we needed. We didn't live in the laps of luxury, by any means, but there we had some special things. Dad owned a two-seat airplane that we would go flying in on the weekends. We'd fly to neighboring airports for a fly-in (usually fundraising) breakfast, shoot the breeze with the other pilots and their sons, and then fly back home. That was pretty cool.

The four of us would go for Sunday drives around the area, just enjoying the scenery and the conversation. We didn't need an SUV. We didn't need a DVD player to entertain us. There was no portable Nintendo or Game Boy. Dad would drive us around in the 1978 Impala and he tried to "lose" me by navigating through the more rural areas, making lots of lefts and rights and then he'd ask me to navigate us back home. I don't think there was a time I couldn't get us back home.

When I was in the fourth grade, we moved to a new house that had been built by my father. The house was situated on 10 acres of land, and my parents, not knowing what to do with the imaginative mess they had of a son, pretty much let me loose in the woods behind the house. I imagined those woods to be everything and anything - a city that made New York look like a two stoplight town (complete with street signs). An enchanted forest in a faraway land full of magical beings. Somehow I always imagined myself as a nose twitching warlock. Or Wonder Woman's long lost brother fighting a group of bad guys that landed their flying saucer on the railroad tracks that ran through our property. What was a really a tree could be a skyscraper that became a school bus that turned into a pier that I jumped off of with my bionic legs. Gosh, I was weird.

Looking back on it today, I guess it wasn't so bad. We didn't have a lot, but we loved what we had. Anyways, those rich kids in town ended up maladjusted and their parents were just nasty.

So when I'm looking at that newest item up for bid on ebay or when I'm eyeballing a G5 PowerBook, maybe I should just slow down and appreciate and enjoy what Earl and I have. I guess life isn't about what you could have, it's about what you do have.

I made a family decision tonight, without discussing it with the rest of the family. Honestly, I don't think Tom could give two hoots about my decisions as long as he has kitty kibble in his bowl twice a day, but Earl might care when I'm spending family funds. Let's see how he reacts when he gets home from Tennessee!

I look at it this way. We have a beautiful entertainment system that we purchased new when we bought the house. It includes a plasma high-definition television. Unfortunately, we weren't subscribing to any high-def cable channels. Instead we were shlepping it with boring reruns (I like to call them shitcoms) on the networks. So I went ahead and upgraded from the "digital basic" cable plan to the "ultimate pak", which basically activated every channel known to man. After two calls to Adelphia (they of course deactivated my account on the first attempt, so I had to call again and get it fixed), we were fired up and ready to go.

So the first channel I switched to had a rerun of Jerry Springer on it. O.k. I know that Jerry Springer strives to be shocking, but is he really aiming for revolting? I'm innocently turning the channels and there was a woman running across the stage, naked, except that she had slabs of beef duct taped to her body. And to make the scene more pretty, she was built like a slab of beef.

Now I believe that the human body is a wonderful vehicle for the beautiful soul in each of us. But to run across a stage on television with slabs of beef taped to your "vehicle" is just plain nuts. Apparently, Miss Meat liked having sex with her table scraps, in case you're wondering.

Then I flipped around again, finishing up a rerun of "Sabrina: The Teenage Witch" (like the show, but it's no "Bewitched) and then ended up settling on Queer Eye For The Straight Guy - in high-def. I thought I would never admit this, but I am starting to really get into Queer Eye. I'm starting to feel the Queer Eye vibe. I wish I was straight so I could sign up and get made over. I guess I'll have to watch the tips from the sidelines. And I know everyone drools over Kyan (the grooming guy), but I have to admit I find Ted a cute nerd, and I thought I'd never admit this but Carson has his own certain charm that anyone could love.

So when Earl gets home and decides to flip around the channels, he's going to get a little shock when every single channel comes in instead of saying "Access Denied".

I hope he doesn't mind the woman with the beef kick.

Today marked the first day back to work after our wonderful vacation in the Midwest. In typical jpnearl© fashion, Earl headed off to far off lands (North Carolina and Tennessee) for work, while I returned to my position as Chief Shrill at the radio station and advertising agency.

Actually, I don't do my place in the office hierarchy justice by calling it Chief Shrill. I'm the "Director of Operations". Whatever the hell that means. I've heard that I'm second in command. But in reality, I guess I just do everything that other people won't do.

To celebrate my first day after vacation, I did try something new at work today. I got drunk at lunch. I've never been drunk at work before and I must admit that it did make the afternoon hum right by.

Outback Steakhouse is opening in our area tonight. To get us to push the opening on the radio (and other media outlets), Outback had a "media luncheon" where they gave us lots of food and alcohol. I went along with the sales manager and an account executive. I was the "programming representative" of the company. I just went along for the free food. Two glasses of wine and a vodka slushee later, I was back at the office buzzing through my desk throwing away unread mail that had accumulated during my vacation. So what if it was a press release from the governor. It happened last week, it's yesterday's news. Get a budget together, Mr. Governor, then we'll talk.

I rarely drink. I've mentioned that after one glass of wine at Olive Garden, I'm dancing with the waitress, flirting with the bartender, calling Earl "Mr. Manwich" (because he's more than a meal) and complimenting the Italian woman in the next booth on her pretty mustache. So I was just plain giddy after TWO glasses of wine and a vodka slushee. It was a wonderful way to ease into the routine.

I suppose I'll have to be more serious about it all tomorrow.

Nah.

We are on our way home. We are getting on the Indiana Toll Road as I type on my cell phone. It's been a gln a gl

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Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

As Earl and I have toured around the midwest, I can't help but notice that I am better suited for the Central Time Zone. I know that's somewhat of a crazy statement, as time is just a perception, but I seem to function must better under CDT.

The network television shows start at 7:00 instead of 8:00. That's cool. Now I know that I don't have any interest in the crap that's on earlier in the evening, so I have plenty of time to find something else to do.

Leno and Letterman are on at 10:35. I haven't watched Leno or Letterman in YEARS. They're on way too friggin' late in the Eastern Time Zone. You know, they might be onto something with that interviewing schtick they've got going on.

Breakfast just tastes better at 8:00 Central Time. Don't ask me why, it just does.

We've stopped for the night in South Bend, Indiana. Just a few miles to the north time is an hour ahead of us in Michigan. And tomorrow, we'll be crossing back into Eastern Daylight Time at the Ohio border. Am I sad because our vacation is coming to an end tomorrow? Not really, as I feel totally refreshed from the trip and feel like I can take on the world again. I'm sad because we're going to be back in the Eastern Time Zone. The pace will be faster, I won't see Letterman or Leno and I'll settle for the crap on television because it'll be too late to find something else to do.

After lots and lots of driving, we have arrived at this evening's destination, downtown Des Moines, Iowa. It seems that there's a pork convention in town this weekend (which brings strange images to the imaginative mind), so it took a bit of begging to get a hotel room. At the second hotel we stopped at (which was just full of pork apparently), the desk clerk pretended to be Mrs. Cochran and called eight hotels demanding a room for us; so we finally settled in at the Savery Hotel. It's a tiny room, but it's adequate for the night.

We haven't seen any serious storms today, but they're promising some fun for tomorrow. Earl has agreed to "hover" in Central Iowa and western Illinois to watch for the storms they're predicting for tomorrow. We'll probably only get as far as Joliet, but we'll still be home by Saturday night.

Today we hit quite a few states - Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, Nebraska and then back into Iowa. We didn't really need to go into Nebraska, but because we were skirting the border along Interstate 29, we took the extra 20 minutes and drove through Omaha. Yay! Another state for the map. I've added my last new state (Nebraska) for this trip, and Earl did the same with Iowa.

Kansas City was a bit hectic... I wish my cousin Becky still lived there so we could have visited with her. We haven't seen her in a long time.

Now we're going to settle in for the night... room service just arrived. Time to get the tummy full!

Looks like it's going to fun ride home tonight and tomorrow!

From the National Weather Center...

THERE IS A RISK OF SIGNIFICANT SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS FRIDAY. THE MAIN
THREAT FROM THE STORMS WILL BE TORNADOES...TWO INCH HAIL...AND
STRAIGHT LINE WIND GUSTS AROUND 80 MPH. AT THIS TIME THERE REMAINS
SOME UNCERTAINTY IN THE TIMING AND PLACEMENT OF THE GREATEST RISK
AREA. INDICATIONS ARE THAT THE MAIN THREAT FOR SEVERE STORMS WILL BE
ALL AREAS NORTH OF HIGHWAY 34 LOCATED IN SOUTHERN IOWA. THERE IS A
LOW RISK OF SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS BEFORE NOON OVER AREAS NORTH OF
INTERSTATE 80. THUNDERSTORM CHANCES WILL INCREASE DURING THE
AFTERNOON OVER ALL AREAS WITH THE HIGHEST RISK FOR SEVERE
THUNDERSTORMS...INCLUDING TORNADOES...FROM 3 PM TO 10 PM. EMERGENCY
MANAGEMENT PERSONNEL ARE ADVISED TO MONITOR LATER FORECASTS FOR
UPDATES ON THIS POTENTIAL SEVERE WEATHER EPISODE. ADDITIONAL
SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS ARE POSSIBLE SATURDAY NIGHT AND EARLY SUNDAY
OVER SOUTHWEST IOWA...SOUTH OF A LINE FROM DENISON TO OTTUMWA. THE
MAIN THREAT FROM THESE STORMS WILL BE DAMAGING STRAIGHT LINE
WINDS.

Before I get started with my latest witty dialog, I thought I'd share this with you...



create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

The red states are the states we have been in. To qualify, we have to actually drive in the state, airport lay-overs don't count.

Anyways, we got up this morning, skipped breakfast and hit the long, flat road. We followed one of the road trips in our "Great Plains" travel guide (no home should be without one) and enjoyed the sites of Central Kansas. Granted, it was raining but the countryside was still beautiful.

We stopped at an old, late 1800s type restaurant in Council Grove called "The Hays House" and had a wonderful lunch. Complete with dessert - Earl had a peach dumpling and I had strawberry pie on homemade crust. Out of this world. I asked Earl how to make a crust for a pie, since I've promised that I'm going to cook much more when I get home, and he said to pick up the crust at the grocery store. If I'm going to cook more, I'm doing it from scratch. He rolled his eyes. He won't be rolling his eyes when I make a homemade pie complete with homemade crust!

But I digress.

After Council Grove we continued north to Junction City, toured around the downtown a bit before hitting the interstates (70 and then 135) and heading back to Wichita. The rain had slowed down to a drizzle, but not enough for us to walk around Wichita, so we opted for a movie instead. We went and saw the third Harry Potter movie (which was quite good) at a local theatre chain called Warren Theatres. This theatre was the best theatre I have been in my adult life. First of all, it wasn't expensive ($7.00/person - vs $8.50 at home), refreshments were cheap ($14.00 for both us, usually its $22) and the theatres were beautiful. Art deco design, carpeted, NO COMMERCIALS and just a typically friendly midwest atmosphere. There's even a sitting room complete with fireplace, theatres with a balcony that are for adults only, and theatres with "crying rooms" where moms can take their unhappy kids and still watch the movie while not disturbing the rest of the crowd. There's even a diner in the theatre. Two thumbs up for Warren Theatres.

After the movie we went to a local diner for some meatloaf and mashed potatoes. We had a very chatty waitress who seemed like she wanted to be our best friend.

Tomorrow morning we are going to hit the road and start heading east. I think we're going to take the round-about way on the way home. We haven't decided if we're going up to Iowa and over I-80 or to Kansas City and by way of St. Louis and Indianapolis on I-70. Maybe we'll flip a coin when we leave to decide.

Earl and I left Oklahoma City this morning and headed for our next destination on our Americana Tour, Wichita, Kansas.

After another great buffet breakfast at Embassy Suites, we hit the road, opting for two-lane U.S. highways instead of the interstates. We headed northeast from Oklahoma City to U.S. 81, where we turned north and drove through the plains and lots of lots of fields of wheat. We stopped in Medford, Okla. for gas and a potty break - we thought about buying some subs for lunch, but the entire gas station/diner came to a grinding halt when we walked in, as everyone looked at us like we just parallel parked a flying saucer. I think the N.Y. tags scare people as they automatically assume that we are from the city of New York. Of course, we live nowhere near NYC, but people think "New York" means "New York City", so there you are. I feel like telling them, no we are not going to mug you, and no we did not see the airplanes hit the World Trade Towers on September 11.

So then we continued onto Wellington, Kansas and opted for Sonic. We love Sonic. I dare say that Sonic has pulled ahead of Chick-Fil-A as my favorite fast food establishment.

Earl seemed to be getting bored with the prairie and the wheat, so I jumped on the Kansas Turnpike and finished the drive to Wichita, arriving at our hotel at 3 p.m. The area here is kind of weird. All the residential areas around the hotel seem to be behind these brick walls. Everything is a gated community. Honestly, it initially struck me as somewhat snobby. We'll have to do a little more investigating.

For supper we headed to Old Town Wichita and ate at the Larkspur. Very tasty. Highly recommended. Old Town seemed a little downtrodden on a Tuesday night, so we walked around a bit and then headed back to the hotel.

Tomorrow were debating on going on a road tour of Central Kansas or changing plans completely and heading off to another destination. I love the adventure!

Earl and I spent a wonderful day in the beautiful city of Oklahoma City today.

To start of the morning, we had a light breakfast (waffles, french toast, double order of bacon) courtesy of Embassy Suites. If it's within your budget and at your destination, I highly recommend Embassy Suites for your lodging of choice while on vacation. Earl and I stay at Embassy Suites whenever we get the chance, and we are never disappointed.

After breakfast we headed to the Oklahoma City Memorial Site... where the bombing took place on April 19, 1995. The memorial is beautiful and to visit there is an emotional experience. It is a tasteful, respectful and insightful memorial, and if you're in the area, I highly recommend that you visit the site.

After the Memorial, we headed to the Myriad Gardens. I have to admit that we were both disappointed with the Myriad Gardens. It's basically a park with lots of flowers, walkways, fountains and waterfalls. While portions of it were quite nice, it had a general air of disrepair about it. We had the feeling that the gardens had seen better times.

We then went to Quizno's for lunch. Wow! Quizno's toasts their subs and spanks Subway any day.

We then headed south of OKC and drove through the prairie to see some of the more rural areas of Oklahoma. We drove through several small towns. Looking for a simpler life, I was quick to appreciate the lifestyle we observed... everyone was friendly and seemed to be looking out for each other. There was a definite sense of community.

After the drive, Earl needed to touch base with work (yay! for e-mail) and then we freshened up for supper. We decided on a local restaurant called Cattleman's Café which is famous for it's steak. One of the appetizers and entreés listed was "Lamb Fries". Neither of us were familiar with Lamb Fries, so Earl asked what they were. The waitress replied "Rocky Mountain Oysters". I instantly knew what they were, having 'experienced' Rocky Mountain Oysters a number of years ago. But Earl was not familiar with the dish, so he pressed her for more information. She replied, quite simply "Lamb Balls". I wish I had the camera on when he found out what Lamb Fries were. Needless to say, he wasn't about to give them a try.

The steak and sides, delivered by a handsome man with wonderful sideburns (I'm always a fanatic for great facial hair), was out of this world. I had a T-bone, Earl had the Blue Ribbon 14 oz. Ribeye. Absolutely delicious. Best steak I've ever had. Any thoughts of my previous vegetarianism are completely out the window. We highly recommend the Cattleman Cafe in the Stockyards on Agnew.

Earl and I both love Oklahoma City. We've always thought that we would move to the desert when we retired, but after this trip we're rethinking that line of thought. We're really liking this area... the fact that there is a definite change of seasons I(but not too extreme) and the friendly, sense of community.

Tomorrow we head to Wichita to continue our Americana Adventure. I'm really looking forward to the drive.

Earl and I have are at the first destination on our vacation. We arrived in Oklahoma City about an hour ago.

We left Friday afternoon around 1:00 -- and after some serious navigation study, using the science of Earl's knuckle as a measuring stick (hair and all), we decided to head south to Hagertown, Md. then west through West Virginia - spending our first night in Charleston, W. Va. It rained like crazy through the western Maryland mountains, but that just added to the fun.

Saturday morning we headed out bright and early and headed down through the Appalachain Mountains towards Kentucky. Plowed through Kentucky, stopping for lunch in Lexington, and then turned south and headed down to Nashville, where we picked up I-40. Between Lexington and Nashville we put the top down on the Jeep and enjoyed the bright sunshine and warm breeze. It was great. It started looking cloudy a little west of Nashville, so we got the top up and made it to Memphis with just clouds - no rain. Called it a night when we got to Memphis.

This morning we hit the road again and headed across Arkansas and Oklahoma. Like my previous experience with the heartland, everyone is so friendly. There doesn't seem to be the frenetic pace of the Northeast. The front desk attendant at our hotel in Memphis thought we were crazy for driving half way across the country in a Jeep - especially from "beautiful New York". She's right, we're crazy, and we're lovin' it.

Earl caught up on work when we arrived (thank goodness for the laptop!), I'm posting my blog entry and then we're heading out for supper and excitement.

This vacation is just what the doctor ordered!

Earl and I began our packing and such for our trip to the Midwest this evening. The first order of business was to take Tom up to my dad's so he could stay with "Grandpa" and his cousins. My sister saddled my dad with two cats a couple of years ago. He won't admit it to your face, but I think he and his girlfriend like having the cats around.

Anyways, while I was up there, Karen, my dad's girlfriend gave me a couple of things she found when clean up my old bedroom - including a couple of little journal notebooks and some other things.

First of all, I'm glad that I consider Karen to be family, or I would be mighty embarassed by the things she found. Thank God I had the sense to get rid of my meager collection of porn when I left for college -- just kidding -- I was never much of a porn collector back then.

The journal notebooks were from a trip our family made to Dearborn, Michigan in 1982. My mother, being the excellent mother that she is and was, encouraged us to write our trip experience in a journal so we could stretch our creative chops. A 1980s blog, if you will.

Being the huge geek that I am, I wrote all about the roads and road signs. You may have seen that this obsession lives with me to this day, with my UpstateNYroads web site. Among other things, I remarked that the motel we stayed at in Parry Sound, Ontario was "the best motel I had ever seen in my life!" (I think it was the third motel I had ever been in - the previous two were the two nights prior), and I also made a comment about how much I loved supper at A&W (that part is still true). But my entries also got me to thinking about how much of a geek I've always been. My geekness hasn't always been limited to roads...

- My first geek obsession that I can remember was with powerlines. The high tension wires fascinated me for some reason, and to this day, I can instantly tell anyone around me when we've crossed from Niagara Mohawk's territory in to NYSEG's territory here in Upstate N.Y. Why one would need this knowledge, I don't have the slightest idea, but I can tell you just in case. Call me the life of any party.
- Powerlines were quickly followed by the beginnings of my road geek obsession. As a kid I laid out a map of the woods behind our house and made all sorts of paths, with bridges made out of pallets (complete with re-rod arches) and road signs printed out neatly (mounted on overhead posts made out of scrap wood). I probably should have followed my gut and became a traffic engineer, as to this day, when I get bored when Earl is out of town, I still design road signs (to federal specs), but now I use a freebie AutoCAD program.
- I was always fascinated with clocks, especially those found in school, as evidenced by my other web site. Last night I just finished a project installing synchronized clocks at the radio station I work for. I pity the people that buy my father's house some day and wonder why "Simplex" and "Standard Electric" is written on the inside of the sheetrock and under the floorboards throughout the house, leading the way to wiring for a clock system that doesn't exist.
- Then came my computer, more specifically, database obsession. This was spurred by the cash registers at our local Ames store, because they kept track of inventory using three-digit department numbers, with all the information stored on IBM punch tape and I just thought that was just way too cool for words. Did you know that those old mechanical registers made an IBM punch tape? Didn't think so! I still lean towards databases for just about everything I need to keep track of these days and if I ever settled down to just one aspect of information management, it would be in relational database technology.

As I look at the list above, the one thing that sticks out is that my geek obsessions all have one thing in common... I'm interested in all things _connected_. I could get all existential and say that's why I have a moderate obsession with metaphysical stuff and new age spirituality, because I believe that everyone is connected and my geek hobbies are just a material manifestation of these beliefs.

But it's probably better to write it off to something else... I'm just one big geek.

As Earl and I prepare for our trip to the Midwest on Friday, I can't help but notice that I am continuting to try to make life simpler. No, we're not looking for a Paris and Nicole experience while we're in the nation's heartland, but rather, we're just looking for something a little less frantic than the hyper Northeast pace that we've become used to.

Back in April, I had the opportunity to travel to northwest Iowa for software training for work. The company is situated in the village of Emmetsburg, a "two stop light town" that is devoid of Wal*Mart, Target and even McDonalds. They did have fast food - a Pizza Hut and the always welcome classic A&W. Natives of Emmetsburg claim that they had four tourist attractions... soybeans on the left and corn on the right, corn on the left and beans on the right, beans on the left and beans on the right and corn on the left and corn on the right. I only spent three days in Emmetsburg, but every single person I crossed paths with was so friendly. People smiled. There was a "howdy neighbor" atmosphere going on, and they even made this boy from Upstate N.Y. feel welcome.

As I've been going on in my blog for the past couple of weeks, I need a little bit simpler approach to life. As of late I've accepted Wal*Mart back into my shopping experiences. I'm using MSN 9 for my e-mail and my internet browser. (It's just easier to use software that is packaged neatly together. I'm sick of fighting with my operating system to browse the internet. I want something that just works. I know, I should get an iMac, but that's not in the budget right now, so I'm doing the best I can with what I have.) Earl and I shun the "sit-down fast food" (TGIFridays/Applebees/et al) and go for the Mom and Pop diner with the opportunity presents itself.

I've given up my fancy gel pens at work and have switched to the tried and true Bic ball-point pens. I don't take the time for "pretty penmanship". I write functionally, but not pretty.

I've stopped trying to fit everyone and anything into categories of my own design. I let the pieces fall where they may fall. I allow myself to see people as they want to be seen, not as I want to see them.

I've disabled my webcams for a while. I'll still videochat with others on MSN Messenger, but I've received one too many 'requests' of what I should do under my desk while I'm doing my work, so for now, I've decided to shut down the cam streams.

And I'm trying to stop living life as "what it could have been" and start living "as it is." A stop and smell the roses sort of attitude. It's not so bad after all.

I'm really looking forward to the Jeep ride to Oklahoma, Texas, Kansas, Missouri and Nebraska (and back). I want to see flat lands, big farms, small towns, large cities and blue sky. I don't want a soda, I want a POP.

I've been on an internal emotional roller coaster the past couple of weeks. But the turbulent ride has come to an end. And I really like the looks of this stop.